Thursday, September 18, 2014

Things to Consider When Contemplating Living With an Aged Parent - 2

Again, I'm not an expert.  And the situation I'm talking about is living in and sharing daily space with an aging parent for the duration.  Not a temporary situation where Mom or Dad comes to stay with you on their way to a different space or vise-versa.


Ask yourself if your spouse loves being around this parent.

As with yesterday's post, if your spouse can't get enough of said parent or parents and never ever wants them to leave, you might be okay living with them.  But, there are other things to consider.

Is the spouse-parent relationship healthy?  Will having this parent(or parents) around 24/7 be a detriment in any way to your marriage.  If you can't say no, without a doubt, then don't co-habitate with the parental units.

Will the parent try to use you against your spouse?

Will the parent try to use your spouse against you?

Will either of you try to use the parent against each other?

OK.  Be honest.  You are not an idiot.  Don't insult your own intelligence by lying to yourself.  You have eyes and ears and at least a basic level of intuition.  You have probably known the people involved long enough to see things that could be warning flags.

Now that we are clear that you are to be honest, because you owe that to yourself when considering such a life altering change.  Will this be a healthy situation for your marriage?  You're being honest now.  Because you don't have to comment, you don't have to write these things down, you don't even have to share them verbally.  And you DON'T have to feel GUILTY about wanting to protect your marriage.  Don't ever feel guilty about prioritizing your marriage.

Think about it.  Is there any reason for you to believe that this could strain your relationship with your spouse?

If you have any reservations about how this will affect your marriage.  Don't do it.

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